So, The Chariot card kept popping up for me lately. Not literally flying out of the deck, you know, but just kept coming to mind. It got me thinking about this one time, a while back, when things felt completely out of control.
I was juggling two big projects at my old job. Sounds manageable, right? Wrong. They were pulling me in totally opposite directions. Project A needed careful, slow, detailed work. Project B was all about speed, quick decisions, just getting it done. My bosses for each project weren’t exactly seeing eye-to-eye either, which made things even worse. Felt like those two sphinxes on the card, one wanting to go left, the other right, and me stuck in the middle holding the reins, barely.
Trying to Grab the Wheel
I remember feeling swamped. Totally overwhelmed. My first instinct was just to push harder, work longer hours. Trying to force both projects forward. Like whipping those sphinxes, hoping they’d magically start cooperating. Didn’t work, obviously. Just got me tired and stressed out.
I actually pulled out my old tarot deck one evening, just staring at The Chariot. That driver looks so calm, so in control. But look closer, he ain’t even holding proper reins attached to the beasts. It’s about willpower, right? Directing things with your head, not just brute force.
So, I tried something different. Took a step back, which felt super counter-intuitive when everything screamed ‘panic!’.
- First thing: I had a blunt conversation with each boss. Separately. Laid out the conflicting demands. Didn’t blame, just stated facts: “This needs this, that needs that, I physically can’t do both at 100% simultaneously.”
- Second step: I focused on what I could actually control. My schedule, how I allocated my time blocks. I literally drew up a plan, hour by hour sometimes, dedicating specific chunks to each project.
- Third, and hardest part: I had to mentally block out the noise. Stop worrying about pleasing everyone. Focus on driving my chariot, my own efforts, in the direction I decided was best, given the constraints. Meant saying ‘no’ sometimes, or ‘not right now’.
It wasn’t smooth. One boss was definitely happier than the other for a bit. There were tense moments. It wasn’t like the card where the driver just looks ahead, all serene. It was messy. I had to constantly adjust the plan, deal with flare-ups, keep that internal focus sharp when everything external was trying to distract me.
Did I achieve perfect balance? Heck no. But I did manage to steer things through. Got both projects over the line, maybe not perfectly, but finished. The biggest thing wasn’t really controlling the external stuff – the bosses, the demands. It was about getting a grip on my own reaction, my own direction, my own willpower. Stopping the panic, setting the course, and just moving forward, even when the path wasn’t clear and the ride was bumpy as hell.
That’s what The Chariot means to me now, in practice. Not some magic wand for control, but the tough job of focusing your own will and direction when everything else is trying to pull you apart. It’s hard work, not a victory lap.
