So, I decided to really get my hands dirty with tarot, you know, beyond just flipping through a book. I wanted to see how it actually felt in practice, day to day. And this one card, the Nine of Clubs, just kept showing up. Seriously, it felt like it was following me around for a solid month.
At first, I was trying to be all studious about it. I’d pull a card each morning, try to journal, connect it to my day. But with the Nine of Clubs, it was just… confusing. Most books talk about strength, nearing the finish line, that kind of stuff. But my days felt like wading through mud. I was working on this personal project, trying to get a small online shop off the ground, and everything felt like a roadblock. Seeing that card felt like a joke. Like, “Oh yeah, you’re almost there, just gotta climb this vertical cliff first.”
My Daily Grind with It
Here’s what I actually did:
- Morning Pull: Shuffle, draw one card. See the Nine of Clubs. Groan.
- Midday Check-in: Something frustrating happens with the website code or a supplier. I think, “Okay, Nine of Clubs, is this the ‘last battle’?” Felt more like the tenth battle of the day.
- Evening Reflection: Look at the card again. Try to find the “resilience” or “perseverance” angle. Mostly just felt tired and a bit annoyed with the card itself.
It wasn’t giving me clear answers. It wasn’t this bolt of lightning insight. It just sat there, this picture of nine sticks, basically. Some days I felt it meant I should just keep pushing, head down, ignore the burnout. Other days, I thought maybe it meant I was being too stubborn, defending a bad idea (like sticking with a supplier who was clearly messing up).
The Turning Point (Sort Of)
The funny thing is, the project didn’t suddenly succeed. I didn’t wake up one day and everything was magically finished. What happened was simpler. I got so fed up with feeling stuck, and maybe seeing that card day after day finally drilled something into my thick skull. Not about the project itself, but about how I was handling it.
I stopped trying to force things quite so much. I took a step back, re-evaluated some of the stubborn choices I’d made. I didn’t abandon the project, but I changed my approach. It wasn’t about one final heroic push. It was about recognizing I was tired, the setup wasn’t working, and I needed to adjust the plan instead of just hitting the wall harder.
What I Think Now
Looking back, maybe the Nine of Clubs wasn’t cheering me on from the finish line. Maybe it was just reflecting my own state: dug in, defensive, holding on tight right before the point where holding on doesn’t make sense anymore. It represented that gritty, tiring phase just before you have to change tactics or admit defeat. It wasn’t encouragement; it felt more like a mirror showing me how worn out I was from banging my head against the same spot.
So yeah, my practical experience with the Nine of Clubs wasn’t some profound spiritual awakening. It was mostly weeks of low-key frustration, followed by a reluctant realization that brute force wasn’t cutting it. It’s just a card, after all. Sometimes it feels less like guidance and more like it’s just… there, reflecting the mess you’re already in.
